Family Stories

Ana’s Story

This is my experience of living in a hostel with my two children for the past year.

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Before moving to the hostel, I was living in a flat but the landlord gave us notice to leave as it needed repairs.  It was difficult for me to find another place to move in.  As a single mum working part-time and looking after two children it was not easy to find where to move that I could afford, so I found myself in a hostel.  The three of us lived in one room for one year.

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During this time we faced many challenges.  Living in a hostel with my two children was a struggle, especially for my son who was affected both mentally and physically.  The hostel environment was not ideal for him as he has allergies to certain foods and asthma.  We weren’t able to cook our meals in the room due to the lack of space and ventilation.  This made it difficult to ensure my son’s food allergies were properly managed.  Furthermore, the lack of space in the room meant that my children were unable to play, study or do homework comfortably.  They weren’t able to invite their cousins or family to visit, which affected their social lives and made them feel isolated.  Overall our experience in the hostel was challenging, and it had a significant impact on our lives.

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We were fortunate to meet CARIS Families who made our stay a little easier.  They helped us with homework, they took us on trips, and provided us with support when we needed it most.  They made us feel like we were a part of their family, and we will always be grateful for their kindness.

When it was time for us to move out of the hostel, CARIS Families once again stepped in to help.  They provided us with furniture and vouchers to help us get settled in our new home.  We are incredibly grateful for their generosity.

I hope that our story will encourage others to reach out and help those in need, just as CARIS Families did for us and with other families in the hostel.

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Tom’s Story

I never imagined I’d be in the situation of finding myself homeless, most people don’t.  I’m the father of two young kids and we fled domestic violence.  It’s a very daunting position to be in when you’ve got children to look after, you just don’t know what to do.  We were turned away three times by the local authority before they accepted our homelessness application.  They kept assessing me as a single man and said that the kids could live with their mum because she had a flat: they didn’t accept my explanation that it was unsafe and it took social services to step in for them to change their position.

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It was a relief when we were granted temporary accommodation but we really were walking into the unknown.  The staff member at the council just gave me a piece of paper with the address of the hostel on it and told us to go straight there.  We arrived at 5pm to an empty room with two single beds in it.  All we had was one bag with a change of clothes for each of us in it, we’d had no time to grab anything else.  So I had to go out looking for somewhere to buy sheets and pillows at six in the evening with two little kids in tow.

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The challenges of life in the hostel were overwhelming to start with.  We’d just received a SEND diagnosis for my 3-year-old daughter and my son was just a baby.  I’d had to stop work suddenly now I had the kids full-time so we had no income, no access to benefits, and a six week wait before any benefits would come through.  We were really living hand-to-mouth.  I asked the hostel if we could have bunk beds for the kids in the room but was told no on health and safety grounds.  The only bed they’d provide for my son was a cot which he was already too big for.  Sure enough it broke and fell to bits in less than a week, so then all we could have was a little mattress on the floor for him.  It was difficult for the kids to process what had happened to us, to understand why we were stuck in that room with no toys.  We were all living in survival mode.  I think it was only adrenaline that got me through.  Eventually you get used to it and adapt.  But the first couple of months were really difficult.

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The day we moved in, a neighbour on our corridor invited us to CARIS Families’ Kids Club which was running that afternoon in the hostel basement.  I was a bit too overwhelmed to go as we’d only just arrived but we went to the next session two days later.  It was an instant relief for the kids to have something fun to do, with so many toys and kid-friendly activities going on.  It was a total contrast to the room we were living in.  I was happy for them to have a chance to play with the other kids living in the hostel.  As a parent, it meant you could take a breath for a second.

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As the weeks went by and the staff team got to know us, the Services Manager was wonderful with her support for our situation beyond the club sessions.  She was someone I could trust: that’s so valuable when you’re vulnerable.  I could talk to her about our situation and my worries and she was like a mentor.  She was able to give me practical information around social services, housing and legal issues and would always point me in the right direction.  She was always willing to listen, she was always caring.  That support meant the service was far more than Kids Club to our family: it kept me sane through the whole homelessness process.

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It took just under two years till we were moved into secure private rented housing and we are now bidding on the council housing register.  It was incredible what CARIS Families did to help us after we moved: they helped us get the white goods and equipment we needed for our new flat which I wouldn’t have been able to afford by myself.  We moved out six months ago but considering where we are now, the hostel feels like a lifetime ago.  The Services Manager still calls me up to chat to see how we are and hear how things are going.

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Out of all the services we came into contact with, yours was the only one that was truly personal and helped us get through each week in the hostel.  We all looked forward to the trips programme during the holidays which gave the kids invaluable experiences and new opportunities.  The two Kids Club sessions a week were the one tiny reprieve we had from that tiny room, and for me, the one chance I had to spend some time talking with other adults.  It was the only good thing about our time living in the hostel.

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Shabila’s Story

I’m a single mum to a five year old.  We’ve been living in the hostel for 9 months as emergency accommodation as we couldn’t keep living in my mum’s overcrowded council flat.

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My son Ahmed has a diagnosis of ASD.  He is non-verbal and engages in stimming, running back and forth in our tiny hostel room.  He has no sense of danger and the room is totally unsafe for his needs.  He often tries to jump off the balcony, turn the cooker on, pull down shelving units and run out in the main corridor where there’s a two-storey drop down into an internal courtyard.

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I found out about CARIS Families’ Homework Club from other residents and started to bring Ahmed.  He has a passion for maths and drawing and loved the club, where he had space to complete his workbook and make art.  The club gave me a welcome break from watching over him in our room and a chance to chat to the staff and get support.  After getting to know staff, they worked with me to escalate my housing case.  They worked with the housing team at the Law Centre to put in a Suitability Review of our temporary accommodation.  We made a case through a Medical Review, that the setup of the hostel was unsafe for Ahmed and made it impossible for me to ensure his safety.  They also got a local councillor involved to make sure the review was looked at rapidly, as we were all worried about the risk to Ahmed.

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CARIS Families’ staff also helped me by referring me for counselling at the Maya Centre to support my wellbeing and made a referral to Early Help so we could get the benefits of a disability social worker.  We also came along on some of the Enrichment Trips which gave Ahmed his first experience of going to the theatre and a ride on the mail train at the Postal Museum.  He loved them both, along with the chance to be around other children, and I appreciated the chance to spend time with other mums.

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The Suitability Review was successful, and the Housing team agreed that Ahmed needed to be in a self-contained flat with a separate kitchen so we could keep cooking equipment locked away.  Within a week, we were offered a self-contained flat within a bus ride of Ahmed’s specialist school and I was very happy to accept it.  CARIS Families helped me with grants for white goods and furniture so we were all set up in our new home.  After we moved we still came on Enrichment Trips, and I worked with CARIS Families to contribute our experience to Shelter’s research project into the state of temporary accommodation, Still Living in Limbo.

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Ahmed has become much calmer and happier since moving into the flat, especially now it’s meant we’ve been able to install the specialist OT equipment he needs to manage his condition.  I don’t know how I’m ever going to repay the help CARIS Families gave me, except by getting involved in campaigns so I can help others in my position.  We love CARIS Families, their support has meant everything to us.